The Wild Maze of Finding a Therapist
Finding a therapist can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. You’ve got countless online directories, unresponsive therapists, and the ever-challenging quest to find “the one” who truly gets you. If you’ve been through this merry-go-round, you know the struggle is real. Let’s dive into why this process can be such a headache, acknowledge those past bad therapy experiences, and give you some juicy tips on when and how to seek therapy. Ready? Let’s go!
The Overwhelming Number of Directories
So, you decide it’s time to get some therapy. Great! You hit up Google and bam! You’re smacked with a zillion online directories. Websites like Psychology Today, TherapyDen, Therapy for Black Girls, Mental Health Match, National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network (NQTTCN), Inclusive Therapists, Therapist.com, and GoodTherapy are all screaming, “Pick me! Pick me!” It’s like being at a buffet with too many choices. While having options is great, the sheer volume can be paralyzing. It’s like being a kid in a candy store with too many choices – decision fatigue kicks in, making it hard to pick the right therapist.
The Frustration of Unresponsive Contacts
You finally narrow it down, reach out to a few therapists, and… crickets. No response. Nada. It’s like sending email and voicemail messages into the void. Therapists, believe it or not, are busy humans too. They’re juggling caseloads, sessions, piles of paperwork, spam calls and messages, and their own lives. Meanwhile, you’re left feeling neglected and frustrated. But hey, when you’re ready to talk, waiting weeks for a callback is the last thing you want. Picture this: you call and leave a voicemail, eagerly waiting to start therapy, and weeks go by with no reply. Frustrating, right? Here at Rethinking Me Therapy, we will do our best to get back to you within 1-3 business days. Pinky swear!
Be mindful of how a therapist informs you on the best way to contact them as that may also be impacting your results. Often a therapist may say book through their website as they have a specific booking system they use. If you reach out via email or phone asking about their availability it may slow down your response time. Others may have a phone number listed but express for new client inquiries to contact them via email or text (be mindful if the therapists accept texts as this may be a feature they do not have or utilize due to HIPAA reasons). Unfortunately, some therapists have phones that appear to go straight to voicemail, and it may not be checked as regularly as their email or texts. And lastly, some may say leave a voicemail with your contact information for them to call you back, so if you call and then hangup without leaving your information it may be likely you don’t have a call back.
Another aspect to keep in mind is while some therapists are generalized, there are many therapists who have specific niches, specialties, and age groups they work with. Before reaching out ensure they are a good fit and you read their profiles and/or websites. For example, if a therapist reports they only work with children and teenagers for anxiety and depression and you’re a young adult with relationship issues, you may not get a response back as you don’t fit the population the therapist works best with.
Finding the Right Match
Let’s say you actually get a response and book a session. Awesome, right? Except sometimes, the vibe is off. Maybe you don’t click with the therapist, or their approach doesn’t resonate with you. It’s like going on a first date that feels… meh. Remember, it’s totally okay to say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” and move on. Don’t feel guilty about reaching out to the therapist and letting them know it wasn’t a good fit. This is part of the process, and seasoned therapists will appreciate your honesty. They might even provide referrals to colleagues who could be a better match for you. Therapists know it’s part of the process. Your comfort and trust are crucial for therapy to work.
Acknowledging Past Bad Therapy Experiences
The Impact of Negative Experiences
Had a crappy therapy experience before? You’re not alone. Maybe the therapist was dismissive, oversharing, judgmental, or just not a good fit. These experiences can leave a bad taste in your mouth and make you skeptical about trying therapy again. But don’t let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch. Therapy is a powerful tool, and finding the right therapist can make a world of difference. If you’ve had a negative experience, don’t let it deter you from seeking help again.
If you believe malpractice or harm was done please use your best judgment in contacting that therapists to make a formal complaint.
Understanding It’s Okay to Switch Therapists
Newsflash: You don’t have to stick with a therapist if it’s not working out. Think of therapy as a partnership. If it’s not clicking, it’s perfectly fine to find someone else. Switching therapists doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’re advocating for your mental health. And if you’ve been with a therapist for a while but feel it’s time for a change, that’s okay too. Sometimes, you may realize that you need a fresh perspective or that you’ve outgrown your current therapist. It’s not expected that you stick with one therapist for life. Changing therapists can provide new insights and approaches that may be more beneficial for your current needs. Think of it as an opportunity to model healthy endings and beginnings. Therapy is about your growth, and sometimes a fresh perspective is exactly what you need.
For some there is reluctance of starting over with a therapist, especially after working with someone who “knows you” and your life and now you’re looking at having to explain and provide these details all over again. It’s important to look at a new therapist with fresh eyes, and although it may be difficult to not compare, they have skills and interventions that could prove to be very beneficial to you. With this you can create a PowerPoint to send to your therapist prior to the first session, or a google doc, that goes over family history, trauma, relationships, and other important information or just be highly detailed when completing the intake form. Before you send the PowerPoint or google doc inquire with your therapist first if they’ll accept it, there may be limitations such as page limits.
As a note it is helpful to inform your therapist of this change as it’ll allow them to formally discharge you and you all can have a concluding session (15-30 mins or even a full 60-minute session) and they’ll be able to assist you with this transition, even with providing you with referrals. Unlike other medical providers you can just stop showing up and you’ll probably never be contacted again other than automated messages. There isn’t anything that says you HAVE to notify your therapist, but it’ll prevent the therapist continuing to reach out and contact you or even continuing to reserve a spot for you in their schedule. It may feel awkward, or you may even feel bad, but don’t be! Your therapist will always be one of your best mental health advocates.
When Should You Go to Therapy?
Therapy as a Preventative Tool
Guess what? You don’t need to have major trauma to benefit from therapy. It’s great for managing everyday stress, improving relationships, boosting self-awareness, and developing coping strategies. Don’t let the “my problems aren’t big enough” or “third world problems” mindset stop you. Therapy is for everyone, even if your issues seem small compared to others.
Normalizing Therapy for Everyday Struggles
Life is a rollercoaster, and therapy can help you handle the ups and downs. Whether it’s job stress, relationship issues, or just feeling overwhelmed, therapy offers a safe space to process your emotions and build resilience. Let’s break the stigma and embrace therapy as a normal part of life.
Signs It Might Be Time to Seek Therapy
- Persistent Stress or Anxiety: If stress or anxiety is interfering with your daily life, it might be time to talk to a professional.
- Feeling Overwhelmed: When life’s demands become too much to handle, therapy can help you develop coping mechanisms.
- Struggles in Relationships: Therapy can improve communication and resolve conflicts in personal and professional relationships.
- Lack of Motivation or Enjoyment: If you’re feeling disengaged from activities you once enjoyed, a therapist can help explore underlying issues.
- Life Transitions: Major life changes, such as a new job, moving, or starting a family, can be challenging. Therapy provides support during these transitions.
- Feeling Directionless: If you’re aimlessly drifting through life without a clear direction, therapy can offer career counseling and clarity or refer you to counseling.
Steps to Finding the Right Therapist
Define Your Needs and Goals
Before you dive into the therapist hunt, take a moment to clarify what you’re looking for. Are you dealing with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or seeking personal growth? Knowing your needs can help you find a therapist who specializes in those areas.
Being able to narrow your goals will also help you to narrow your results. Many directories allow you to filter identity of your therapist (includes: race, gender, spirituality, primary language, sexual orientation, etc.), price, insurance(s) accepted, location, telehealth or in-person, concerns, and therapy interventions (talk therapy, vs experiential vs somatic/body interventions vs art or sand tray interventions). That way instead of having to scroll through all 458 therapists listed, with filters you may be given 20 results instead. Way less overwhelming!
Research and Read Reviews
Do your homework. Check out therapists in your area and read reviews on websites like Psychology Today, Google, and Yelp. Look for therapists with experience and positive feedback in the areas you need help with.
Initial Consultation
Many therapists offer a free initial consultation, either over the phone, via video, or in person, usually lasting 15-30 minutes. Use this opportunity to ask about their approach, experience, and availability. Pay attention to how comfortable you feel during this chat—it’s a good indicator of whether the therapist is a good fit.
Assess the Fit
After a few sessions, evaluate if the therapist feels like the right match. Do you feel heard and understood? Is their approach working for you? Trust your instincts and don’t hesitate to make a change if you don’t feel comfortable or supported.
Be Patient and Persistent
Finding the right therapist can take time. Be patient and persistent. It might involve some trial and error, but the right match is out there. Keep reaching out and attending initial sessions until you find someone who meets your needs.
Conclusion
Finding a therapist can be a daunting journey, but understanding the challenges and being prepared can make it more manageable. Acknowledge past negative experiences, recognize the value of therapy for everyday struggles, and take proactive steps to find the right match. Therapy is a valuable tool for maintaining mental well-being and navigating life’s challenges. By normalizing the search and being persistent, you can find a therapist who will support and guide you on your journey to better mental health. If you’d like to see if a therapist here at Rethinking Me Therapy would be a good fit for you, schedule a consultation today!