Deciding whether to go to college is a significant and often stressful decision for new high school graduates and even college students in their first or second year. Young adulthood can be a precarious time, with a looming sense of responsibility and a perpetual need to have every detail ironed out. However, it’s essential to normalize the experience of not having everything figured out and to understand that it’s okay not to know what you want to do for the rest of your life between ages 17-22. Feeling lost in your twenties is totally normal, and that’s exactly why we’re about to bust some myths about adulthood and highlight some alternative paths that don’t involve only higher education.
The Pressure of Early Decisions
Understanding the Unfair Expectations
The expectation that young adults should know how they want to spend the next 40-50 years of their working lives is unrealistic. After spending almost 18 years asking permission to do things and being under structured guidance, they are suddenly given independence and autonomy. One minute everything’s status quo, the next, it’s like standing on shaky ground – the uncertainty can be suffocating, and your mind starts spinning with hypotheticals and maybe even dark scenarios about what’s in store if you “don’t play your cards right”.
Normalizing Uncertainty
It’s important to remember that not having everything figured out is completely normal. Many adults in their 30s, 40s, and beyond are still exploring different career paths and passions. The idea that you must have a clear career path right out of high school is a misconception that can cause unnecessary stress. The want to be able to live comfortably and have financial freedom by the age of 30 or be able to retire before the age of 50, although possible for some individuals, others it’s a false narrative and ideal being chased that may only lead to burnout, regret, and still a sense of loss. Again, these goals are admirable and not at all impossible, but putting all of your eggs in this narrative may lead to success or lead to resentment for chasing something that when you actually get it isn’t equivalent to everything you sacrificed to get there.
Common Misconceptions About Adulthood
Misconception 1: Adults Have Everything Figured Out
One of the most common misconceptions is that adults have everything figured out. Adulthood unwraps a promising era of trials, tribulations, and opportunistic learning curves. It’s normal to change careers, go back to school, pause as you focus on other priorities such as marriage or a family, or take on new interests at any age. Adulthood is not a one-size-fits-all concept.
Misconception 2: A College Degree Guarantees Success
While a college degree can open doors to many opportunities, it doesn’t guarantee success or happiness. Many people with degrees find themselves working in fields unrelated to their studies or discovering new passions later in life. Success is subjective and can be achieved through various paths. Define success on your terms, and suddenly the path to achieving it becomes much clearer.
Misconception 3: Knowing Your Passion Early On
Not everyone has a clear passion for a job or career. As we accumulate experiences, piece together skills, and brush shoulders with inspiring individuals, our genuine fascinations begin to reveal themselves. It’s okay not to have a defined passion right away. Sometimes, a job that highlights your strengths or funds your hobbies and interests can be fulfilling enough.
Alternative Paths to Consider
Taking a Gap Year
A gap year can be a valuable time for self-discovery and growth. According to the American Gap Association, up to 90% of students who take a gap year return to college within a year. During this time, you can travel, volunteer, work, or explore different interests without the pressure of academic commitments.
Trade Schools and Apprenticeships
You may come across people who say “Forget useless degrees – apprenticeships and trade schools teach you a trade, guaranteeing a job upon graduation. You’ll be making as much if not more by the time those who go to college graduate. Spend those years working your way up”; while others may say “Go to college and at least get your Bachelor’s. Whether you use it or not it’s good have in a competitive job market. No one will hire you without it”. Is one more true than the other? There is no correct answer as it depends on your location, your field of work, how competitive the job market is in your area, job openings for that type of role, your goals for salary and benefits, and many other factors.
For those who learn best by doing, trade schools and apprenticeships are a natural fit, offering specialized training in fields like automotive repair, culinary arts, and HVAC – and teaching you the ins and outs from veteran professionals. These programs are often shorter and less expensive than traditional college degrees. If you’re looking for a career that’s both rewarding and financially stable, consider trades like plumbing, electrical work, or carpentry – they can bring a high level of satisfaction and a comfortable living. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, many trade jobs are projected to grow over the next decade, highlighting the demand for skilled labor.
Entering the Workforce
Entering the workforce immediately after high school is another viable option. What’s waiting for you on this path? Hands-on experience, financial independence, and a stronger sense of direction in your professional life. Expand your skills, boost your career: many employers offer training programs and opportunities for advancement.
Entrepreneurship
On a tangible level, entrepreneurship looks like garage startups, coffee-fueled brainstorming sessions, and late-night coding marathons. Yet on a deeper level, it embodies the fierce desire to construct meaningful lives that make a dent in the universe.
Thinking of ditching the classroom for a life of entrepreneurship? Starting your own business can be a thrilling Plan B. Take the reins and turn your passions into a way of life, be your own boss – that’s what entrepreneurship is all about. Although for many this is the “golden goose”, however this path is not scarce from difficulty, set-backs, late nights, financial investment that may come in the form of loans, as well as other challenges paving it to be not at all an easy path, however the possible success makes it all worthwhile. With danger comes opportunity, and this is one chance you won’t want to let slip away. For others the aspect of being your own boss and following the motto “it takes money to make money” seems exhausting an like too much work, so they’d much rather find a job or career that they are apart of.
The Role of Therapy in Decision-Making
Seeking Professional Guidance
Therapists can help young adults navigate the pressures and uncertainties of making significant life decisions. With the guidance of a therapist, individuals can begin to pinpoint their strengths, desires, and life objectives in a comfortable and non-judgmental atmosphere.
Addressing Anxiety and Stress
The weight of anxiety and stress is crushing – mentally, physically, and emotionally. Big life transitions often come with a side of anxiety and stress – therapy offers a safe space to process these feelings and find a way to thrive. You can gradually regain control of your emotions by practicing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness – both highly effective tools for finding mental clarity.
Why College Might Not Be for Everyone
Financial Considerations
College can be a significant financial burden. The average student loan debt in the United States is around $30,000, which can take decades to pay off. For some, the return on investment may not be worth the financial strain.
Learning Styles and Preferences
Traditional classroom settings don’t suit everyone. There are people who absolutely come alive when learning gets real – when they can touch, feel, and see the concepts they’re studying. While others are more studious, notetakers, or auditory learners and need time to process and understand the topics. Identifying how you process information can take the guesswork out of selecting a learning path that fits you like a glove.
Job Market Realities
The job market is constantly changing. In certain fields, a degree is the ticket in, while others place a premium on experience and raw talent. Look before you leap – scouting out the job market in your field can save you from making a serious misstep.
Specialties and Modalities at Rethinking Me Therapy
Our practice offers a range of therapy specialties and modalities to support individuals in their decision-making process and beyond:
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)
REBT helps individuals identify and challenge irrational beliefs that cause emotional distress. When anxiety takes hold, clear thinking often goes out the window – but this method can help you regain control and make informed decisions.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. Anxiety, stress, and uncertainty don’t stand a chance when you’ve got the tools to make informed, liberating choices that bring clarity to your life’s direction.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS helps individuals understand and harmonize the different parts of their personality. For those moments when your heart and head are at odds, this helps you collect your thoughts and make a decision that aligns with your full self.
Narrative Therapy
Narrative Therapy encourages individuals to reframe their life stories in a positive light. With a deep understanding of your personal values, the future comes into focus and decisions become a whole lot easier.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
DBT combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness. When you’ve got this down, you can channel your emotions into positive action and turn chaos into clarity. It’s effective for managing intense emotions and improving decision-making skills.
Schema Therapy
Schema therapy tackles the nasty byproducts of internalized past wounds, offering instead a clarifying framework for sorting through emotional debris. What happens when you confront the underlying patterns and beliefs that shape your life? Schema Therapy shows you the way. People who feel lost or uncertain about their direction will find this very helpful.
Attachment Theory
With attachment theory, the secrets of healthy relationships come into focus: what makes us seek out certain people, and how do our earliest memories influence our relationships today? The way we connect with others is largely influenced by our earliest relationships; this form of therapy helps tease out how those connections impact our behavior. Improving how we connect with others can greatly benefit from a little introspection – it’s a powerful tool for fostering stronger bonds.
Mindfulness
If you want to quiet that constant chatter in your mind, try cultivating Mindfulness – it might just change your life. To combat the frazzled feeling of a never-ending to-do list, tuning into mindfulness helps you dial down stress and focus on what’s happening right now. Thoughtful decision-making starts with a clear vision of what’s to come.
Finding the Right Fit
Choosing the right type of therapy is a personal decision that depends on your unique needs and goals. Here are some tips to help you find the best fit:
Assess Your Needs
Consider what you want to achieve through therapy. Do you find yourself regularly spinning with anxiety, unsure of your career path, or hungry for more meaningful relationships? The direction you want to head in life points you toward the right therapy.
Research Therapists
Look for therapists who specialize in the areas you want to address. During your search for the perfect therapist, a free consultation can be a fantastic litmus test – does this feel like a collaboration that could spark real growth?
Trust Your Instincts
It’s essential to feel comfortable and supported by your therapist. Trust your instincts when choosing a therapist, and don’t be afraid to switch if the fit isn’t right.
Conclusion
Deciding whether to go to college is a significant decision that doesn’t have to be made hastily. This life stage can be a tumultuous time, but accepting the uncertainty and exploring every avenue is the first step forward. Whether you choose traditional college, trade school, the workforce, or another path, remember that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. You don’t have to face critical crossroads alone – therapy provides a knowledgeable guide who helps you discover what truly matters to you and sets you on a path that honors those values.
References:
- American Gap Association. (n.d.). Gap Year Data & Benefits. Retrieved from https://www.americangap.org/gap-year-data-benefits.php
- U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2022). Occupational Outlook Handbook. Retrieved from https://www.bls.gov/ooh/