Individuals blessed with emotional sensitivity often find themselves fully immersed in their feelings, and even the slightest stimulus can trigger an intense response. It makes you question “do I over-react?’ and take things “too personally”. Growing up with intensified emotions can be a heavy burden for Gen-Z and Millennials, especially when the world around them dismisses their feelings as overreactions or being told that it’s “weak” or “soft”. It’s time to flip the script on emotional sensitivity and how we define and relate to it. Rather than trying to “toughen up” or “emotionally detach,” we’re embracing the unique benefits of being attuned to our emotions. From tackling self-doubt to fostering empathy, we’re discussing how therapy can help individuals harness their emotional sensitivity to live a more authentic life.
Emotions are the currents that run deep through our lives, and being sensitive to them can be a superpower – but what exactly does that look like?
Defining Emotional Sensitivity
Emotional sensitivity refers to the tendency to experience emotions more intensely than others. People who are emotionally sensitive might react strongly to both positive and negative stimuli, feel emotions more deeply, and take longer to recover from emotional setbacks. This trait is not a flaw but rather a part of one’s personality that can bring both challenges and strengths. Often for those who do experience this want to find a way to “feel less” or “be normal” and have reactions similar to those around them which in turn creates a more critical voice and less self-compassion.
What Emotional Sensitivity Looks Like
- Intense Reactions : Emotionally sensitive individuals may have strong reactions to events that others might consider minor or “not that big of a deal”. For example, a critical comment might feel devastating, having someone close to them become upset with them sends huge waves of either rejection, hurt, or fearing abandonment, or a touching gesture could bring immense joy.
- Deep Empathy : Their sensitivity to others’ feelings is palpable, as if they’re plugged into a emotional wavelength that lets them tap into the collective mood. They can not only just relate, but actually “feel” the emotions and energies of others even if it does not directly impact them or affect them.
- Heightened Awareness : They tend to be more aware of subtleties in their environment, such as changes in tone of voice, facial expressions, or body language. They tend to have hyperawareness of their surroundings as well as non-verbal and subtle cues, so they pick up on patterns quite quickly. However, due to the focus on others and their environment it’s not uncommon for them to lack a sense of self or high levels of introspection.
- Prolonged Emotional States : Their emotions might linger longer than they do for others, making it harder to “bounce back” from setbacks. They question why it may take them hours, even days or weeks to get passed something while when observing others it appears as if they can just brush it off, move on nonchalantly, or just not be impacted by what happened or at least what was interpreted to have happened.
The Invalidating Experience of Being “Too Much”
Common Phrases and Their Impact
Many emotionally sensitive individuals have heard phrases like “you’re too emotional,” “stop being so dramatic,” or “you’re too sensitive.” These comments can be deeply invalidating and diminish personal experiences. When repeatedly faced with such feedback, individuals might begin to question their own emotions and needs.
The Consequences of Invalidation
- Hiding Emotions : To avoid judgment, emotionally sensitive individuals might start hiding their true feelings, which can lead to internal conflict and stress. People may comment “Wow, you’re so cool headed and calm” while internally their mind is going a mile a minute and they are considering every scenario being internally anxious of the “what if’s”.
- People Pleasing : Due to the invalidation, they may do all that they can to prevent further invalidation by putting others needs in front of their own and engaging in self-sacrificing actions and being more worried about what my hurt someone else more than what hurts them and implementing boundaries.
- Masking : They might adopt a persona that fits societal expectations, suppressing their true emotions and reactions.
- Self-Gaslighting : Being constantly told your emotions are off-base can quietly plant seeds of self-doubt, making you wonder if you’re actually upset about nothing. This can result in gaslighting themselves, where they dismiss their own feelings and experiences as being overreactions.
Understanding Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs)
What is an HSP?
Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is a term coined by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron. HSPs have a sensitive nervous system, are more aware of subtleties in their environment, and are more easily overwhelmed by highly stimulating environments.
Traits of HSPs
- Depth of Processing : HSPs process information and emotions deeply, leading to rich inner lives and a strong sense of meaning.
- Overstimulation : They can become overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, and crowded places.
- Emotional Responsiveness : HSPs tend to have strong emotional reactions, both positive and negative.
- Sensitivity to Subtleties : They are highly attuned to details and nuances that others might miss.
How to Know if You’re an HSP
If you identify with many of the traits listed above, you might be an HSP. Dr. Elaine Aron offers a self-test on her website to help individuals determine if they fit the HSP category.
Validating Emotional Sensitivity
Embracing Your Sensitivity
It’s important to recognize that emotional sensitivity is a valid and valuable trait. Here are some ways to embrace and validate your sensitivity:
- Self-Acceptance : Acknowledge and accept your emotional sensitivity as a part of who you are. It’s okay to feel deeply and react strongly. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or need to become “hardened” in order to make it in life.
- Set Boundaries : Establish boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Minimize your time in chaotic situations or toxic relationships that leave you feeling unheard. Setting boundaries does not make you “mean”, “bad”, or “selfish”. You are just listening a recognizing your needs and self-advocating. Saying “no” is a complete sentence.
- Practice Self-Compassion : Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Recognize that your emotions are valid and deserve attention. You don’t have to “lie” to yourself or utilize “toxic positivity” or “baby” yourself, but you do deserve “softness” here and there, you deserve giving yourself a break and showing yourself kindness for doing the best you can, especially in a world where sometimes it feels kindness is far and few between.
We’ve all been there – stuck and unsure – and that’s exactly when seeking guidance can make all the difference.
If emotional sensitivity has you feeling like you’re stuck in a never-ending storm, therapy can be the beacon of hope you need to find calm and clarity. A therapist creates a comfortable environment where you can openly express your emotions, gain practical tools to manage them, and grow stronger in the process.
How Our Therapy Practice Can Help
At Rethinking Me Therapy, we understand the unique challenges faced by emotionally sensitive individuals. From coping with loss to breaking free from anxiety, our therapists act as your allies on the path to emotional well-being.
Our Approach
- Validation and Empathy : What we care about most is helping you feel seen and accepted, without condition or expectation. We will challenge you, but we will not diminish and invalidate you experiences but we will assist you seeing other point of views when our emotions at times may be blocking them.
- Coping Strategies : Our therapists can help you develop effective coping strategies to manage overwhelming emotions and reduce stress.
- Building Resilience : No one likes getting knocked down, but we’ll show you how to get back up – stronger, wiser, and more resilient than before. We can’t help you stop feeling the emotion, but we can help in lessening the intensity and navigating how to get through those distressing moments and emotions.
- Your health journey is one of a kind, and we believe your care should be too. That’s why we take a customized approach. : Your needs drive our approach – we adapt our methods to provide you with targeted support that truly makes a difference.
Therapy Modalities We Offer
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) : Get to the root of your emotional struggles by challenging and rewriting negative self-talk.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) : Focuses on building skills in mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness.
- Humanistic Therapy : Emphasizes self-exploration and personal growth, helping you understand and accept your emotions.
- Mindfulness-Based Therapy : Incorporates mindfulness practices to help you stay present and reduce the impact of negative emotions.
Wrapping things up, we see that … final results matter more than the journey.
Having emotional sensitivity means walking a fine line between valuable insight and overwhelming emotional baggage. Emotional wellness begins with self-awareness, leads to setting solid boundaries, and peaks with being brave enough to ask for help along the way. Think of Rethinking Me Therapy as your emotional safe haven. Our caring therapists are here to lend a listening ear and provide guidance as you work through life’s challenges. If you struggle with emotional sensitivity and are looking for support, please reach out to us to schedule a consultation. Imagine feeling proud to be a sensitive person – we’ll work hand-in-hand to help you banish self-doubt and tap into the remarkable strengths that come with being highly attuned to the world around you.
References
- Aron, E. N. (1996). The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You. Broadway Books.
- Pluess, M. (2015). Individual Differences in Environmental Sensitivity. Child Development Perspectives, 9(3), 138-143.
- Royal Society for Public Health. (2017). #StatusOfMind: Social media and young people’s mental health and wellbeing. Retrieved from rsph.org.uk
- Psychology Today. (n.d.). Highly Sensitive Person. Retrieved from psychologytoday.com