In today’s fast-paced, hyper-connected world, it’s easy to fall into the traps of perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and overachievement. Social media, academics, and the cutthroat job market brew a perfect storm of anxiety that constantly nags at Gen-Z and Millennials. Get ready to confront the hurdles and weigh the advantages, we’ll guide you through refreshing your approach to living a more harmonious life.
Understanding Perfectionism, Imposter Syndrome, and Overachievement
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the relentless pursuit of flawlessness. Perfectionists set excessively high standards for themselves and are often overly critical when they don’t meet those standards. Striving for flawlessness can be a double-edged sword – it may propel us forward, but it can also exact a hefty emotional price.
Pros:
- High Standards: Perfectionists often produce high-quality work and strive for excellence. In consistently striving for high-quality work, it may result in promotions, awards, status, a high GPA, and a name for yourself for someone who works hard and goes “above and beyond”.
- Motivation: Chasing perfection may be an unattainable dream, but the passion and determination it ignites can turn aspiration into reality, one goal at a time. It keeps them constantly looking at “what’s next” and in a state of needing to constantly see growth or achievement in some way, as without it feelings of inadequacy or failure may sink in.
Cons:
- Stress and Burnout: The constant pressure to be perfect can lead to chronic stress and burnout. It’s hard to stop when you don’t feel confident in yourself that this is “good enough” and if it maintains the standards, you hold yourself to and what you project others to hold you to as well. It looks like working overtime, overstudying, the hours of work you do outside of work hours on the weekends or into the evenings. And always being on-call whether by responding to emails or calls outside of work hours. Living like this makes it difficult to have a life and focus on other priorities outside of your work or school identity.
- Fear of Failure: Perfectionists may avoid taking risks or trying new things due to fear of failure. They have a hesitancy in disappointing others (or themselves) in fear of ruining the perception of how well they work or how good of a job they can do. The fear of being seen as inadequate creates high levels of stress, hypervigilance, and anxiety.
- Procrastination: The fear of not meeting high standards can lead to procrastination, as individuals may delay starting tasks to avoid potential failure. Procrastination is often seen as a “lazy trait” but it can also make an appearance when overwhelmed and you fear not meeting your standards.
Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome is the belief that one’s accomplishments are undeserved and that they are a fraud. Individuals with imposter syndrome often feel like they are not as competent as others perceive them to be and live in constant fear of being “found out.”
Pros:
- Humility: Imposter syndrome can lead to humility, as individuals may downplay their accomplishments and focus on continuous improvement.
- Motivation to Learn: The fake-it-till-you-make-it anxiety drives people to hit the books and upgrade their expertise. You don’t want to be found out, so you actually work harder to not be seen as a fraud.
Cons:
- Low Self-Esteem: Imposter syndrome can lead to chronic self-doubt and low self-esteem. It can lead to a lack of a sense of self, because if you don’t fit this role then where do you fit?
- Anxiety and Stress: The constant fear of being exposed can cause significant anxiety and stress.
- Inhibition: Individuals may hold back from sharing ideas or taking on new challenges due to fear of failure.
Overachievement
Overachievement involves going above and beyond what is expected, often at the expense of personal well-being. Those who constantly raise the bar for themselves share a common thread: an unwavering passion for excelling in all aspects of life, with no exceptions.
Pros:
- High Performance: Overachievers often excel in their endeavors and achieve high levels of success.
- Recognition: Their hard work and dedication can lead to recognition and rewards.
Cons:
- Burnout: The relentless pursuit of success can lead to physical and emotional burnout.
- Neglect of Personal Life: Overachievers may neglect their personal life, relationships, and self-care in pursuit of their goals.
- Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome: Overachievement can be closely linked to perfectionism and imposter syndrome, creating a cycle of stress and self-doubt.
Moving Towards a Healthier Approach
Creating Realistic and Healthy Goals
- Set SMART Goals: Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. With this framework, you can forget about pipe dreams and unrealistic expectations – it’s all about setting goals that are honestly achievable and making a plan to get there. It avoids falling in the trap of making goals too vague or broad that you can’t stay consistent or motivated.
- Example: Instead of setting a goal to “be the best at work,” set a goal to “complete three key projects by the end of the quarter.”
- Break Down Goals: Break larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This makes them less overwhelming and more achievable.
- Example: If your goal is to write a book, start with writing one chapter at a time.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Ensure that your goals include time for rest, relaxation, and self-care.
- Example: Schedule regular breaks and downtime into your workday and week to recharge.
Developing Self-Authenticity
- Know Your Values: Identify your core values and let them guide your actions and decisions.
- Example: If you value creativity, prioritize projects that allow you to express your creativity.
- Practice Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and actions to ensure they align with your values.
- Example: Keep a journal to track your progress and reflect on your experiences.
- Be True to Yourself: Brush past the temptation to size yourself up against others and instead pinpoint what makes you shine.
- Example: Celebrate your own achievements, no matter how small, and avoid comparing them to others’ accomplishments. Sometimes you have to be your own hype person and if you don’t know what that looks like or it feels odd and disingenuous, then it sounds like you may need to spend more time with yourself and get to know you.
Avoiding Feelings of Inadequacy and Incompetency
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Identify and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself.
- Example: If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” challenge this thought by listing your accomplishments and strengths. Reframe your thoughts and use reality checking to focus on the facts and not the emotions and fear.
- Seek Support: Strategically place yourself in the company of vibrant, inspiring individuals who have walked the walk and can stimulate your thinking with fresh insights and bold ideas. Find supportive friends, family, and mentors to build that community of relatability.
- Example: Join a support group or seek out a mentor who can offer guidance and reassurance.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during times of failure or setback.
- Example: Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is a natural part of the learning process.
The Role of Therapy
Think of therapy as your own personal boot camp for emotional wellness. With every session, you’ll equip yourself with new coping skills, untangle past conflicts, and build the resilience needed to take on life’s challenges head-on.
For those who excessively push themselves to achieve but can’t seem to shake off the nagging sense of not being good enough, therapy provides a supportive environment to rewire these damaging thought patterns. Here are some ways therapy can help:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT can help individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier ways of thinking. For example, a therapist might help a client recognize and challenge perfectionistic beliefs, replacing them with more realistic and balanced thoughts.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT focuses on helping individuals accept their thoughts and feelings rather than trying to change them. By facing their feelings of inadequacy head-on, individuals struggling with imposter syndrome can disarm self-doubt and continue to chase their aspirations.
Mindfulness-Based Therapies
Therapy sessions centered around mindfulness skillfully guide individuals toward a greater sense of calm and self-awareness. What if you could become more mindful of your thoughts and feelings, letting go of anxiety and living more fully in the present moment? Mindfulness-based therapies like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) can help you get there. As you recalibrate your expectations and abandon the need for flawlessness, you’ll likely notice a significant decrease in feelings of stress and anxiety.
Self-Compassion Therapy
Self-compassion therapy focuses on developing kindness and understanding towards oneself. It’s like removing a roadblock in the mind – once those feelings of inadequacy are gone, people are free to find their own rhythm and celebrate what makes them special.
Quotes and Statistics
- “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.” – Anne Lamott
- According to a study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, nearly 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives (Sakulku & Alexander, 2011).
- A survey by the American Psychological Association found that millennials are the most stressed-out generation, with 12% reporting that they feel stress every day (APA, 2015).
Conclusion
Perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and overachievement are common challenges faced by Gen-Z and Millennials. When high-achievers rev their engines, they can reach incredible heights – but they’re also prone to hitting a brick of exhaustion and burning out. Strip away the expectations of others and focus on what genuinely resonates with you. By cultivating a stronger sense of self and nurturing self-compassion, you’ll confidently stride toward a more fulfilling, well-rounded existence.
It’s OK to admit when you need help – that’s where therapy comes in, providing expert advice, a sounding board for your thoughts, and productive strategies to turn things around. If you’re struggling with perfectionism, imposter syndrome, or overachievement, consider reaching out to a therapist at Rethinking Me Therapy. Struggling to find harmony in your life? We’re passionate about empowering individuals like you to break free from the cycle of burnout, fear of failure and disappointment, and cultivate a sense of balance that frees you up to pursue your passions. By embracing your unique journey and seeking support when needed, you can turn the challenges of perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and overachievement into opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
References
- American Psychological Association. (2015). Stress in America: Paying With Our Health. Retrieved from apa.org
- Lamott, A. (1994). Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Anchor.
- Sakulku, J., & Alexander, J. (2011). The imposter phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science , 6(1), 73-92. Retrieved from tci-thaijo.org